Self-Introduction Letter
Subject: Self-Introduction
Dear Professor Brad,
I am Sharon Sim and this is my self-introduction letter. I hope that this will help you to get to know me better. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in Electrical and Electronic Engineering(EEE). I chose to pursue a degree in Robotic Systems, a new programme created by SIT instead of EEE as I wanted to learn more about the different aspects of engineering. I like learning things by hand therefore I chose engineering.
One communication strength I have is being able to socialise with people comfortably. Working in a café has allowed me to meet customer’s from all walks of life. I often initiate small talks when regular customers visits therefore I am able to speak to people comfortably.
One communication weakness I have is I am unable to convey messages clearly. I tend to beat around the bush when explaining things which makes the listener more confused as he/she doesn’t know what I’m trying to say. Another weakness I have is writing stuffs.
Two goals that I want to achieve in this module is to be able to construct my sentences in a clear and concise manner and also be able to adapt my communication style with different audiences. I am able to communicate with people casually however, I feel that when there is a change in audience, my communication style should change too. A friend and a boss are different levels which means that the communication style should be different too.
To end off my introduction letter, I will share something unique about me. I am very independent. I used to travel back to Indonesia every month on my own. :)
Yours Sincerely,
Sharon Sim
Thanks, Sharon, for sharing. I'll comment more after your blogging buddies do.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteNice letter overall. I however feel that, in general, if you shorten the names of certain things you refer to, it would be best to at least mention the full name the first time you bring it up especially since it is a formal setting.
DeleteHi Sharon,
ReplyDeleteYour letter is certainly an interesting read and I like how you ended off the letter with something unique about yourself. I am also a hands-on learner and hence I can relate to you! However, there are some errors in your letter such as
1. " Another weakness I have is writing stuffs. " I think you can explain more on this as you explained your other weakness and this should definitely have more elaboration.
2. " meet customer’s from all walks of life" I think it should just be meet customers from all walks of life.
Overall, I enjoyed reading your letter and do let me know if there are any queries. :)
Best Regards,
Yu Xin
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Sharon,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise letter. From the attention given to each topic and descriptions you provide, we readers can see that you are sociable, rather introspective in terms of knowing what you need to improve your skills, and, as you state, independent. What I feel would enhance this introduction woud be more concrete detail. For example, you mention that you want to study in robotics "to learn more about the different aspects of engineering," but you don't explain that in any depth. The same is true when you reference your work and your interest in small talk. What's the point of such talk? Have you ever had a meaningful conversation at work, or does this work talk example only demonstrate comfort on a surface level?
I think you see what I'm getting at with this. More depth of explanation would take this reflection to the next level.
In terms of language use, there are also some issues. This advice is all in the spirit of helping you "to convey messages clearly":
1. sentence structure
-- I like learning things by hand therefore I chose engineering. > (comma splice)
I like learning things by hand. Therefore, I chose engineering. OR I like learning things by hand; therefore, I chose engineering.
-- I often initiate small talks when regular customers visits therefore I am able to speak to people comfortably. > (comma splice) ?
-- I am able to communicate with people casually however, I feel that when there is a change in audience, my communication style should change too. > (comma splice) ?
2. words/phrasing
-- initiate small talks > initiate small talk (overuse of plural)
-- Two goals that I want to achieve in this module is... > (subject-verb disagreement)
-- Another weakness I have is writing stuffs. > ?
3. punctuation
-- A friend and a boss are different levels which means that the communication style should be different too. > A friend and a boss are different levels, which means that the communication style should be different too.
4. concrete detail
-- I am very independent. I used to travel back to Indonesia every month on my own. :) > This seems to imply that you and your family are from Indonesia. Is that true? You could give more context for this statement. When did you used to do this? Why? For how long? Specifically to where?
I look forward to learning more baout you this term, Sharon, even as we move classes to Zoom.
Best wishes,
Brad